Seeds

The seed I planted has died under the rain. The one you brought.

The lighter you gave me went lost the other night.

The little origami are now hidden, but I keep them.

The pictures of you are still there and each time I watch them I die inside a little more. Maybe I should move them in a different folder.

I think about you a lot though and the things you said are still ringing in my head.

It’s been almost three weeks since I last saw you.

Sometimes I look at our chat and think about texting you but I don’t know what to say. I just want to know if you’re okay. Are you okay? Cause you don’t seem happy from what I’ve seen and heard.

I miss the way you made me feel like I could be small and taken care of, even if it wasn’t real.

I’m angry at you. Just a little, though.

I can’t shake this feeling that you were faking it. The care, the kindness, the affection, the smiles. It wasn’t real. It wasn’t what you felt. You hid and then you dunked everything on me at once and then went back to hiding and then you just left. I gave you all that I could and you didn’t even make space.

I’ll have to text you in a while. Cause I’ll get the camera pictures and I will send you yours and you can hate me for it, you can not even download them, or you can keep them, I don’t care what you do with them. But I will give you the choice.

I will give you the choice.