okay, so I told him. I was so convinced to just shut up about it, I did manage to tell him I’d miss him, like I’d hoped, and that should have been it. But then, yesterday, as I walked through the airport security I suddenly felt regret. Maybe it was the sudden realisation that I …
I am an idiot. I knew this from the start. I think I’m feeling something like jealousy, for the first time maybe. Maybe it’s more like envy or something I don’t know. But I feel this little pain in my chest every time she gets mentioned and I just enter this spiral of sadness. She …
T. I’ve been thinking about her a lot, lately. I’m not really sure why. I know I do not want her in my life again, let alone near anyone in my polycule. But I can’t stop my thoughts, can I? And so I let my mind wander in the memories. Her place, her cat cuddled …
“I’m not ready for a relationship yet” is so much easier to say than “I want it with every fiber of my being”. “I don’t want this date to go well” is so much easier to say than “I long for romance and connection, I long for eternity and unconditional love and I don’t want …
Some time ago I read an article about kinky vore fantasies. I think I always consumed gore and vore medias, I’m not against it, but I’ve always thought about vore in gore contexts, in supernatural contexts. I’ve never thought about actually eating people that way. The article was about vore in a giantess-dom/small-sub fantasy with …
I have a very short audio note of L. singing. I listened to it and I breathed.I heard E. sing just last week and it just made me nervous. It’s batshit that I used to relax whenever I heard E.’s voice, his singing voice. Lately, it’s been “a fucking cheese grater” to cite Daniel Sloss. …
There was a boy at the station with the same jeans you always wear.He was with his girlfriend.I really like those jeans on you.(I wanna saw them where they wore out and broke) On the train there was a girl with the same hair your friend has.I’m not sure she still has it styled that …
I do. I hate that I have to start thinking that what I do no longer concerns you. And what you do no longer concerns me. I hate this. I hate the way you don’t talk to me. I hate the way I don’t talk to you. I hate everything about this. I still love …
Tue last time I was seriously self harming I was 18 and in high school. A few months later, fresh from being 19, I was raped and so my feelings sort of just stopped for a while. I’ve had some relapses later, though. The last time I’ve had concrete thoughts was about 4 years ago. …
It’s 2am. I am gently chatting with my boyfriend about our struggles. There’s a lot to say and we scratch some spots, avoiding others. There’s one thing I’m not saying. One thing I haven’t told anyone yet. Something that is weighing heavily on me. Something I don’t know how to talk about. Something I need …